Last week was one of the most fearful weeks I’ve seen in Britain. A fearful week turned quickly into hate. A truly terrible and sad week and I’m not referring to the politics behind the referendum result itself, but more about what it triggered. I hope this isn’t too soon to talk about, but I want to talk about fear and change.
Fear: Fear is the main factor of hate. Hate creates fear. Fear weakens you and causes you to behave in a way that’s not true to yourself. Fear and hate equally have caused travesties in our lifetime; wars, shootings, robberies, etc. Fear prevents you from achieving your goals. It brings negativity to your mindset and it holds you back. Uncertainty and worry can cause fear, and I suppose I’ve seen a lot of this recently, and understandably so.
Change: change is absolutely a way to cause fear because change sometimes means fearing the unknown BUT change can be GOOD. Change is also one of the main ways to crush fear. Accepting change. Accepting fear. Embracing the unknown. Making positive changes helps growth; in mindset, success and the way you live. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, but in the end it can be good.
Think of your personal development appraisals at work. On all behavioural measures that I’ve ever seen, ‘accepting change and embracing new ways of working with others’ has ALWAYS been on there. It’s not on there because your company want you to not be accepting of change. It’s on there because the best employees are the ones who accept change, react positively to change, adapt to knew situations, work well as a team and embrace a challenge with open arms…. I think you may be able to see what I’m getting at here…
I don’t think, with what’s happened to the UK, is something that’s going to be easy. I don’t think it’s something many will move past and I don’t think it’s a topic that is going to settle for a while. And that is OK. We’re all allowed to feel hurt and upset, we’re all allowed our opinion and we all need our own amount of time to heal.
I just wish, and I hope that slowly, more people will begin to feel positive (hard thing to say I know). And I’m not saying ‘accept the situation as a positive one’. Not at all. It’s still uncertain for everyone at the moment, so I’m talking about beginning to feel positive again in themselves, with friends and everyday life. There’s been a lot of negativity and hate floating around which is devastating to see.
Tough times may be ahead, but as an 80% positive 20% negative person, I just refuse to let this tear me down.
Regardless of the result, regardless of whether you voted in or out (no judgement here), I do believe in my heart that sticking together, keeping positive, and being open to others opinions and change is the only way forward. The only way out of fear.
I believe in a life without fear. I believe that no matter the referendum result, I will build and live my life the way I want surrounded by the ones I love. If I have to make changes to achieve that, I will do it and I will do it without fear and with a positive attitude.
I hope this post is received and read free from judgement and negativity – I think ultimately we all just need to hug each other and move forward, slowly, even with baby steps 🙂
Love to you all, whether you voted remain or leave, to me, it really doesn’t matter xxx
Image Zoe Collyer
Can you have too many bridesmaids and also not enough??
I’ve read many different opinions on this across lots of different blogs so I’ll try to make it simple….
I’m not going to sugar coat it, but the night before your wedding and the morning of the big day, are pretty nerve racking. Of course, different brides experience different nerves, some are quite excitable, some are a littler nervous, and some can feel quite sick. As a bride, I was the latter!!
Regardless of what type of ‘nervous bride’ you are, you need to put yourself above everyone else and think about who you would want and need there with you. Who will make you feel calm? Who will help organise you? Who will make you laugh? Who will go over and above to be helpful? Finally, who can you just simply not imagine being without – your best best friends? If you consider these sorts of personal questions rather than etiquette, what you read in magazine’s or the pressure that may be put on by family, then you should know instantly who your girls are!
Mine was the easiest decision of the whole wedding, and 5 of my 6 girls had been on my list for years and years. In fact, I technically had 7, because one of my best friends is a guy, so we made him an usher BUT he spent the morning with me. I don’t know what i’d have done without him there! He comforted me when i was shaking with nerves but refused to allow me to wallow – thanks Lukey (love you!). So you can see, there are no ‘set rules’ or right and wrong here, it has to be what you truly know in your heart is right. Go on, have a little think (even if you’re not even engaged) and i bet there are people who you know instantly!
I know of some brides who simply have their one sister. Others have no bridesmaids and just young flower girls. I know someone who had eight bridesmaids and eight flower girls!! They will have had their own reasons for their choices and will have been ones they were happy with.
Of course, budget can come into some peoples choices, but there are SO many ways to get around that AND still have all the girls you want (blog post coming soon on this!)
There are also situations where brides (and this will be my sister one day!) have lots of different close friends across lots of different friendship groups. There’s no one answer here, but when the time comes, you’ll know what to do and it will all work out the way it is supposed to, even if it’s not an instant ‘i know who my bridesmaids will be’ moment. Simply always put what you want first and then manage others expectations as best as possible. Some friend’s may feel dis-heartened, but a good true friend would never kick up a fuss about it because they understand it’s your decision. One day, when it’s their turn, they will see things in a different light as they too will have to make these sorts of decisions – so don’t fret 🙂
So don’t read blogs or get advice from friends and family about what they think you should do. People will accept who you choose because it’s your decision and actually, one of your own and most personal decisions you’ll make that won’t include your groom. Gone are the days where all your bridesmaids must be your cousins or your groom’s sisters, cousins etc… Go with your heart and your gut. Choose people who make you feel GOOD and you are most comfortable around. Choose positive girls. Choose girls who will add that something special to your morning… choose your best friends. If you do this, it’s easy 🙂
Image Zoe Collyer
This week is a truly personal post about some meaningful things that have been bubbling around in my head for the last couple of months, and since my friend was diagnosed with terminal cancer… Life is one of those amazing things that provides love, happiness, but also sadness and anxiety. Sometimes difficult things happen, but without them, how would we know to appreciate all the good that we have all around us? My friend, Emmy, recently said that in life it’s always important to, ‘smile, love, and be kind’. The most simplest but most meaningful quote I’ve read and heard. This quote means more to me now than ever. Because no matter how successful you are, whether that’s in business, at work, in marathons or even in wealth, without a soul that’s constantly smiling, without loving others and without kindness, then everything else is just superficial.
Emmy – Image Greg Phillips
You may have the best job and all the money in the world but without love, what have we got? Love brings happiness and lots of contagious smiling (something that is ridiculously good for us!!). And what brings us the most amount of love?? People ❤ People are what’s important; the people that make you a better person and lift you up. Not the new iPhone or the new lens that I’d love to get. Being rich or celebrating that amazing triumph in your half marathon would be NOTHING without the love, kindness, and happy smiles that surround all of that.
Imagine running a race without a crowd. Imagining dining on your own in a fancy restaurant every night of the week. Imagine feeling hurt and there being nobody to show you kindness and comfort you? It all means nothing if you don’t have people to share life with.
One person I care deeply about…. – Image Zoe Collyer
It’s people, the kindness and the love that keep us going and keep us in high spirits when life gets utterly rubbish. And recently, I’ve been witnessing just this sort of enormous and all encompassing love, for one special woman. It goes without saying that if you show people your kindness, they will absolutely return it when you need them most. My friend Emmy is so so kind, and is being showered with love and kindness in return. She reminds me of how unimportant the negative stresses in life can be and how important it is to be positive as you and your soul will simply thrive. She makes me proud and glad to have shared some fantastic memories with her. She makes me feel positive and reminds me that even the smallest things are worth smiling for. More than anything, as sad as I truly feel, she also gives me comfort knowing that she is SO happy and having the time of her life. WHAT a way to live – I intend to follow suit, to continue to ‘love, smile and be kind’… And you should too ❤
Sharing below a selection of just a few of the people in my life who I LOVE and whom without, life just wouldn’t be the same 🙂
Image Philippa Sian Photography
Image Zoe Collyer
Image Zoe Collyer
Image Zoe Collyer