What is love?! Well I know that love conquers all! And it REALLY does. I’m talking about real love, the love that gets you giddy, the love that makes you feel like you could do anything, the love that feels so deep from within its hard to describe how it feels, the love that makes you smile when you think about it, the love that calms you, the love that is appreciation, the love that is a strong companionship. The love that is so strong and so dependable that you sometimes forget it’s there.
The reason for this post is because I had a really in depth chat about marriage and love with one of my closets friends, Jaina, at the weekend – we had a long 3 hour drive to Emmy & Jake’s wedding!
We both think that, particularly with our generation (and the one above), that people give up too easily. People don’t have willpower in relationships and marriage. People have the wrong perception as to ‘what love is’, but mainly how to recognise that love changes and can come in many different forms. If it doesn’t feel like a 24/7 fairytale, then lots of people tend to give up.
Jaina’s parents had an arranged marriage; they only met a few of months before for their wedding day. After many many years, they are still together and still happily married. They grew in love, had two children and their love has built an incredibly strong foundation for a really close family unit.
The love you feel in the beginning of your relationship will be incredibly different to the love you feel five years into your relationship or marriage. I think people mistake the ‘giddy butterfly feeling’ as what love will always be like. I think this is the beginning of love, but real love goes so much deeper, and you have to nurture it and understand it to remember that it is there as it will change and evolve as you change and evolve as a person. It’s not like a fairy tale 30 years in, even if people on the outside view it in this way.
Our lives are so busy that we don’t notice love when it is all around us. Sometimes it takes a big gesture to remind us how much we love that person. For me, my small reminders of how much I love my husband, are in the morning, when a tea arrives by my bedside without fail. An out of the blue hug. When he stands up for me or looks after me when I’m sad – this doesn’t happen often as we lead a relatively drama and negative-free life, but sometimes, when things get really tough, he will always be there for me.
I went to my friend Emmy’s wedding last Saturday. Emmy, who is suffering from a rare form of thyroid cancer, and who has found this deep and true form of love in Jake. He is there for her, making her happy through the toughest of times, being her rock and helping her live her life to the very full. Their love really does conquer all and it’s the most beautiful love I’ve seen as they manage to show this deep love on the outside and not just on the inside.
Of course, everyone will have a certain idea or opinion on ‘what love is’, but I’d like to propose this…
The feelings of ‘love’ start like you see in a movie… It’s exciting, it’s nerve racking, it’s heartbreaking.
Love then evolves, changes and deepens as its tested through difficult decisions, busy lives and peoples questioning on ‘if it really is love?!’
if you make it through this stage, the love you are left with is in its purest and most deepest form. The type of love that really can stand the test of time and can conquer all. A strong foundation. A strong companionship. A strong bond. Don’t ignore this love or mistake it for not being ‘love like it used to be/feel’ and NEVER give up on love, for love does conquer all.
Just a small thought this Friday 😉